The Misadventures of Fire Lord Zuko
by jooce
Summary: Being the Fire Lord should have ended Zuko's adventures, but as he's going to find out, being Fire Lord isn't easy. It only get's you in the weirdest predicaments possible.
1. The Fire Lord is Bored

Hey everyone :D! I just finished watching Avatar the other day and this popped up into my head. This is going to be a series of oneshots/drabbles centered around Fire Lord Zuko's life post finale. Hope I can make you guys smile.

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Zuko looked around his vast throne room, almost empty except for the young Fire Lord, seated at the top of the flaming platform. (The fire was quite impractical though; sparks often found their way to royal documents and Zuko's elaborate robe.) It might as well be empty though. The only thing he had been doing for the past couple of weeks was sit in the lonely room, signing various papers and approving the reconstruction of devastated locations across the nation.

The Fire Lord scowled like he always did, before letting out a stifled, "Aargh,", which the large room only made louder. It's not as if Zuko didn't like the progress that the Four Nations have made. He personally traveled to the Water Tribes and the Earth Kingdom to sort out problems left by the war, and he even joined workers to help rebuild foreign cities. But now that many of the major predicaments were smoothly on their way to being settled, Zuko had nothing to do but sign documents all day.

Zuko was bored.

Now, it had been a long time since he had felt this feeling, probably since when he was still a young child with his only worries being Azula pulling his topknot and fighting off wild turtle ducks. Chasing the Avatar never gave him the luxury to be bored, and teaching him firebending to take down his father wasn't exactly any easier. And, Zuko always had Uncle around to keep him annoyed, which didn't warrant boredom either. However, Uncle was all the way in Ba Sing Se, running his tea shop and probably not being bored.

…That sneaky old man. He probably saw this coming and hid behind his tea to leave the Fire Lord with the grunt work. And he was the one with the six-pack abs.

Fire Lord Zuko sighed again, albeit a little louder this time, and lay on the hardwood floor, his legs outstretched. Sitting in a cross-legged position under a short table for hours, effectively cutting off the circulation to his lower body, didn't really help the situation.

Knitting his eyebrows, Zuko tried thinking of ways to keep himself occupied. He was tempted to call servants in for entertainment, but he knew all there would be was stupid arm flailing, and it might project a lazy image from the Fire Lord, which would be unacceptable. And his advisors would not allow him out of the palace until his work was finished. Thinking back, Zuko realized that with Group Avatar (it was shorter than saying Aang, Katara, Sokka, Suki, and Toph), he was never bored. There was always someone to argue with or try to prove himself to, and of course feeling the weight of saving the world from the onslaught of the greatest military force (and giant fireballs) ever created was pretty unboring.

Then it hit him.

Zuko quickly got up and ran out of the throne room as quickly as his bloodless legs could carry him with heavy imperial robes over them.

--

Panting slightly (the metal shoulder piece wasn't very light), the Fire Lord found himself in the messenger hawk room. It was about the size of a small post office, with the animals elegantly perched in their designated cages. Sunlight glinted through the holes, a pleasant change from the throne room's harsh fires and dark backdrop.

He removed four bound scrolls from his robes and opened one of them to confirm what was written inside:

_So how have you been?_

_-Zuko_

Zuko shut his eyes and scowled nervously before rebinding the paper and attaching it to a hawk. He wrote the same exact line on the rest of the letters.

Attaching the rest of them to separate hawks, he sent them off in hopes of quick replies.

One to Aang, who was traveling anywhere and everywhere as the Avatar to answer people's cries for help.

One to Katara, who was at the Northern Water Tribe, teaching young waterbenders and healing the sick.

One to Sokka and Suki, who were enacting a grand plan to connect the Four Nations through roads and waterways.

One to Toph, who was in Ba Sing Se, helping to rebuild the wall.

And none to his uncle Iroh, because he was still annoyed at him. He would send one later.

--

_A couple days later…_

"My lord!" greeted a servant as he entered the throne room before bowing. "You have several messages sent by messenger hawks."

"Thank you, you may leave now," dismissed the Fire Lord after taking the letters the servant offered up. After he left, Zuko swiftly opened up the scrolls with his remaining paperwork laying forgotten by his side.

The first one read:

_You just missed him! He's on Kyoshi Island now._

Zuko shrugged. The Avatar was a busy person. He rewrote his original message to be sent to Aang again.

The second one read:

_I've been good, you?_

_-Katara_

Zuko blinked at the rather short reply which only took him a second to read. He quickly wrote the reply:

_I'm fine, thanks._

_-Zuko_

which took him just as long.

The third one read:

_Aww, you miss us don't you! But I can see why you'd be lonely without my humor around. ;D  
__The project's going great! It's also sorta strange, the three nations working together so well after so many years of fighting. We'll actually be getting a break in a couple weeks, so we can round up the Gaang and come visit your depressing self. ;D_

_It's nice to hear from you Zuko. I've been well. The construction is progressing nicely and we should be able to visit you soon. After I visit Kyoshi Island, of course._

_-Sokka and Suki _

Zuko scowled at the first line Sokka wrote. He was just…bored. But he couldn't help but feel warmth inside himself at the prospect of seeing everyone together again. Grabbing his brush, he deftly wrote:

_I don't miss you guys, I just wanted to hear how the project was going. However, I will make preparations for Group Avatar's arrival._

_And I heard Aang is on Kyoshi Island._

_-Zuko_

And the fourth on read:

_I think you forgot that Toph can't read or write—_

Zuko mentally slapped himself.

—_so she asked your uncle to write to you instead. And she wants to remind you that she's blind._

_I'm doing quite well, but I am saddened that I did not get a letter myself. ):_

_-Uncle Iroh_

Zuko couldn't help but feel guilty, imagining his uncle's pouting face from behind a cup of steaming lavender tea because of not getting his own letter. He really slapped himself this time. And how did Toph's get to him in the first place!?

_Tell Toph that I am sorry for my mistake. How is the tea shop?_

_-Zuko_

Finishing his last reply, he swiftly reached the messenger hawk room and sent them off.

--

_A couple days later…_

Zuko swept the royal documents off of the table to give room for the second set of replies. The first one read:

_Sorry, the Avatar left an hour ago. He's heading for the mining village now!_

He gritted his teeth slightly, but only rewrote his first message. The unavailability of Aang was to be expected.

The second one read:

_...you don't seem like the type to write to people. Why are you doing this?_

_-Katara_

Zuko made a thoughtful expression. That girl is sharp. He wrote back:

_I've been doing only paperwork for quite some time now and…I'm rather bored._

_-Zuko_

The third one read:

_Yah, yah Fire Lord, we all believe you. ;D  
__Group Avatar? Gaang sounds way cooler. AND, it's a pun._

_Really? I heard he was at Chuming Bay._

_-Sokka and Suki 3_

Sokka was starting to get on his nerves, and he wasn't even in the country! And Gaang was the stupidest thing he ever heard, even if it was a pun. He frowned. Exactly where in the world is Aang the last Airbender?

The last one read:

_Toph told me to write that she'll accept our apology once she gets to tell you off face-to-face._

_The shop has been going great! But some animals have gotten into the store and destroyed some of the white tea leaves. And this heat wave is making chrysanthemum tea packs moist. The black tea tastes quite good though. And we are going to receive a shipment of green tea soon—_

Zuko skipped over the rest of the message and quickly wrote the reply:

_That's good to hear._

_-Zuko_

--

_A couple days later…_

Zuko eagerly opened his first reply letter. (He kept telling himself the Sizzle Crisps were making him jittery instead.) It read:

_I'm sorry to say you missed Avatar Aang by only a couple of minutes! His next stop is Ba Sing Se._

He hit the table, hard enough to cause black ink to spill out of the inkstone and onto nearby parchment. How hard was it for Fire Lord Zuko, one of the leaders of the great Four Nations, to contact a single person, even if he was the Avatar!?

Taking a sheet of spoiled paper, he deftly wrote:

_HOW ARE YOU?_

_-Zuko_

"Servants!" he shouted while binding the letter. Several people hurried into the throne room. "Have this sent by the fastest messenger hawk we have to the Avatar. This is of utmost importance, and if this doesn't reach him, there will be dire consequences." The Fire Lord said this all out as quickly as possible before handing a servant the letter.

Nervously, the servant answered, "Yes—"

"Go!" the Fire Lord barked, effectively sending the servants scurrying away to the messenger hawk room.

When everyone left and Zuko was alone again, he took a couple minutes to just breathe in, and breathe out. Breathe in, and breathe out. He kept telling himself to trust the servants. After successfully calming himself down, the hot-headed man turned to other letter he received. He opened it up.

_Bored? JUST BORED? You don't care about anyone at all, do you?!_

_-Katara_

Zuko only scowled at the touchy waterbender's response.

_Well you said it yourself that I'm not the type of person to write to people. And I'm not._

_-Zuko_

_Then why bother to write anyways? It's not as if communicating with is something fun for someone like YOU._

_-Katara_

_It's not. It passes the time._

_-Zuko_

_Ooooh. I see now. People are just a bunch of tools for your own selfish needs. Well I'm not going to be used by the likes of you, a greedy pig who doesn't care at all for others. I have no idea how you managed to become the Fire Lord, the leader of entire NATION when you don't care for other people. You should be glad I'm not in your royal little palace, because I would waterwhip that sick, disgusting personality right out of you. And do you know why I could do that? BECAUSE ALL YOU ARE IS A SPOILED, SHORT-TEMPERED LITTLE BRAT THAT CAN'T COMPREHEND AT ALL THE MISFORTUNES OF OTHER PEOPLE. IT'S ALL ABOUT YOU, YOU, YOU—_

Zuko tore up the entire letter and he wasn't even halfway finished. "Aaargh!" shouted the Fire Lord, letting out a primal roar of frustrating and some flames. What the hell was wrong with this girl!? She overreacted at everything he said, even if it was the truth. Zuko scowled, thinking of Katara's irrationality. How did the Gaang, no, Group Avatar always deal with her?

Zuko was about to let out some steam by doing some firebending forms when a servant entered the room.

"You have a reply from the Avatar, my lord." He handed it to the Fire Lord before noticing his lord's not exactly happy disposition. "Is there something wrong, my lord?"

"No, nothing, you may leave now," Zuko stated sharply. He was still busy fuming.

When the servant left, the firebender tried his best to calm down before opening the letter. He barely unbound it without ripping it, annoyance coursing red-hot through his veins. The letter read:

_Hey Zuko! Sorry for the late reply. I've been super busy lately. Being Avatar is not easy. I've finally got some time to have fun though at Ba Sing Se. Me and Toph are hanging out at your uncle's tea shop. He makes excellent tea._

_So how've you been?_

_-Your friend Aang_

Zuko stared at the message for a moment before getting out a new sheet of paper. He ferociously wrote:

_I'M PISSED._

_-Zuko_

That was the last letter he was ever going to write anyone.

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Reviews are loved, of course. ;)


	2. The Fire Lord is Out of Touch

I have to concede...this chapter's pretty weird. Well it's been 2 years since my last update haha.

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"What is your purpose with the Fire Lord?" Zuko intoned deeply, his silhouette menacing behind the wall of flames.

The figure kneeling before him edged her head upward, bottom lip quivering—

"BAHAHAHA! What was that, your 'Avatar state voice'? Trying to make me pee all over your waxed tiles, huh." The middle-aged woman bent over again, this time from raucous laughter. "I've heard turtle ducks with scarier voices than you."

The Fire Nation royalty flinched at the sound of her obnoxious voice filling the chamber. Man was he glad the doors were closed. "That's because this was a practice session! You knew what I was going to say! If it were anyone else they would have ran out of hear crying already."

Zuko's new Public Relations director and redecorator got up and brushed off her pale red robes. "Yah you keep telling yourself that….But it doesn't matter, your cute wittle voice will play into the new Fire Nation image anyway."

It took the man with the cute wittle voice all his will power not to roast Mung alive. The only reason why she was around was that Mung managed to pull a circus out of debt-ridden abyss and into a very public eye, and that was something all of his advisors agreed the new regime could use, Uncle Iroh included. Ty Lee also vouched for her decorating sense. "I am Fire Lord Zuko, son of Fire Lord Ozai and Fire Lady Ursa, and you will respect me!"

Mung was still chuckling as she turned her heel on Zuko and started walking toward the double doors. "No no, that doesn't work either. With your height, you'll come off as a brat. Instead, you have to turn it around and insult the other person." She didn't even wait for the Fire Lord, who parted the fire and walked as quickly as he could in his long robes to catch up. "And try not to mention Ozai either, that subject's pretty touchy right now, you know, with him trying to annihilate the Earth Kingdom and all."

They left the chamber, with the PR director leading the Fire Lord, who was fuming like an angry sabre-tooth moose-lion with sparks flying out of his nose.

* * *

"Mai!" His call sounded practically desperate as he tried to turn his head around, which was difficult with all the pins jabbed into his collar.

The goth girl entered the room looking for her boyfriend, but halted at the sight of a young man snowed in under different shades of pink fabric. There were five different tailors bustling around, debating over whether to fold a piece left or right and pinning him together like a sad rag doll.

"Um, sorry, wrong room…"

"No, wait, Mai, you can't abandon me here!" But Zuko's shouts were lost as Mai quietly escaped from the room, leaving him to be unrelentingly makeovered.

"Nu-uh," said Mung, wagging a long finger at the Fire Lord. "We can't have any distractions. Your self-image is very important, especially when millions of people are under your leadership."

Zuko flinched as one of the designers wrapped a gold-threaded belt around his waist. "But why pink!" The longer he looked at the salmon-colored fabric encircling his entire body, the more he felt sick.

"Because pink is the friendliest color. It makes people think that they can come up and be buddies with you. That they can trust you."

"But I don't want random people coming up to me and asking me to play a game of Pai Sho," Zuko ground out.

"Fire Lord Zuko! You are now the head of entire nation! You must endure for your people!" Mung looked appalled at his unwillingness to be a _real_ leader. "That being said, I was thinking of replacing your shoulder plates as well. They're so pointy, someone could get killed if you tripped over onto them."

* * *

"You want to _what_?"

Zuko's new outfit was finally finished, and he was seated, rosy robes and all, in the palace garden with Mung, relishing a cup of jasmine tea. Now he could understand his uncle's obsession with the drink; it really did wonders settling his nerves after they were pulled tight by Ty Lee's crazy friend.

"I want to repaint the entire palace. The first thing I think of when I enter the palace is, 'Geez, who died and haunted this dreary building?' I mean even when its bright and sunny outside, the inside looks like some underground catacomb. It feels like a koizilla will jump out of a corner and slap you to death."

The Fire Lord blinked a couple times before responding, "My servants are more than capable of working in the palace. They were hand-picked by me and my advisors." Though there was incident a couple of months ago regarding an axe-murderer who snuck in and tried to jump Mai. Though it was the axe-murderer who ended up being slashed.

"I do not doubt your servants' states of mind. However, any visitors that may appear—"

"Zuko!"

The two turned their heads to see the young Avatar running towards them, followed by a flustered servant. "Sorry," the servant huffed out, "for not being able to alert you to the Avatar's presence earlier, Fire Lord." Zuko nodded in understanding and dismissed him.

"It's so great to see you again!" Aang said, showing his signature wide smile. "And it's an honor to meet you again, Mung." He bowed to the woman, who got up and bowed back.

Zuko's momentary elation was struck down after hearing that. "You guys know each other?"

Mung nodded with a smile. "I was the one who went to your uncle's tea shop to give a new, modern look. Guess whose sales have doubled!"

"Yah, she was the one who suggested Iroh plant leechi trees in the front. Guess which tea shop is Momo's favorite now." As if on cue, the lemur leaped out of Aang's robes and gave the Fire Lord's face a hug.

After peeling Momo off of his face, Zuko's face revealed mild exasperation. "That's great to hear."

"Haha, sorry about Momo, too much fruit I think." The lemur leapt back and settled on Aang's shoulder, who took this moment to scrutinize Zuko…and his new outfit. "Um Zuko, did you accidentally fall into a barrel of peach juice of something?" He did his best to hide his chuckle.

Aware of the little boy now sitting across from him, who was doing a bad job of stifling his laugh, the Fire Lord gritted his teeth. "Well—"

"Actually, it was a barrel of lily-flower dye. This is the best quality dyed silk you can find in all of the Fire Nation," Mung cut in, grabbing Zuko's sleeve and tugging it toward Aang for him to feel.

"Argh!" Zuko grunted, pulling his clothing back. Quickly covering up his annoyance, he questioned, "Don't we have business to attend to?"

"Ah yes," Mung agreed thoughtfully, turning to the Avatar. "We are about to begin the redecoration of the Fire Palace. Would you like to help us?"

"I'd love to!" Aang's eyes were as bright and wide as Momo's. "This would be a great way to take a break. I've been working my butt off for the past couple of months."

Zuko sighed, the Avatar's eagerness dispelling his thoughts of sneaking away from the dreaded house job. He gulped down the rest of his tea and followed the Avatar and Mung back into the palace, casting a regretful look back at the teapot in the garden.

* * *

"Might as well get the elephant-koi in the room out now," Mung addressed to the Fire Lord and the Avatar, who were all gathered in the throne room. She gestured generally toward the platform where the Fire Lord would be seated. "Was this room built original to roast boar-q-pines or what?"

"You could roast marshmallows here!" Aang exclaimed.

Zuko stiffened, ignoring Aang's food comment. "I think it looks great. The temperature is perfect."

"But what's the point of it?"

Zuko shifted his gaze towards Momo, he was approaching the fence of fire with curiousity. "It's therapeutic."

Mung rolled her eyes. "Yah, so is boar-q-puncture. What you need is regal ambience, not evil-overlord. Besides, it's not doing anything good for your complexion."

"What I need to do is rule a nation, not worry about looking like Firebender's Quarterly cover model."

"Well we could at least do something about that scar…" Mung reached into her pocket and pulled out some powder.

"No, that is enough!" Zuko balled his fists and looked at the decorator straight in the eye. "It doesn't matter what people think of this scar tissue on the outside. It is a part of me, it has made me who I am. Just like how this palace has a long, illustrious history, not just about Fire Lord Sozin and his war. So what if people find the building menacing. It's not just our job to understand other people and nations, they have to understand us as well!" He took a couple of deep breaths. "Now, you will listen to my opinions and not just do whatever you want around here."

"Well said, Zuko!" Aang applauded. "Though I do think she's onto something with this fire fence…"

"Fire Lord…" Mung looked almost apologetic for a second before saying, "Well done, well done! You've finally proven yourself. Your uncle always told me how although you were always hot-headed, around certain matters you always tip-toed too cautiously. You are the leader of a nation now and you can't afford to be a pushover when working with other people."

The chamber was quiet except for the flickering of the fire now as Zuko and Aang just stared at Mung, who held out her arms in a grand position.

"…So my uncle sent you? Not Ty Lee?"

"Well uncle thought the palace was due for some change and Ty Lee had me in mind. And it all worked out!"

Zuko didn't even have the energy to get worked up anymore. He sighed and said, "Let's just all take a break and maybe make some fire-flaked smores. The servants can tackle the redecorating." He headed out of the room in his royal pink robes with Aang and Mung in tow.

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Comments and critiques are nice 3


	3. The Fire Lord has a Tongue of Fire

I'll probably stop updating this for a while (again) in favor of my other stories, if this short chapter is any indication. But thanks to everyone who alerted or continued reading this. :)

* * *

The Fire Lord entered the kitchen with a grand flourish of his robes, his face set hard with purpose. He clapped his hands together and gathered the cooks in front of him.

"Okay everyone, the Earth and Water representatives of the first Conference of the Three Nations will be arriving in a couple of hours, and dinner needs to be prepared by then. This is imperative for establishing a good first impression of our beloved country. We must show the representatives some of the more beautiful aspects of Fire Nation culture, so I expect the most delicious native Fire dishes to be made. I require your utmost attention and skill for this endeavor. Dismissed!"

The cooks departed in a flurry of movement, some of them heading to the pantries to amass ingredients, and others grouping together to discuss what should be done with the dessert and whether or not Fire cheese toast required provolone or cheddar.

After surveying over the scene, Zuko nodded in approval and headed out of the chamber swiftly. There were many more tasks to be addressed in preparation for the arrival of Earth and Water ambassadors, as well as the Avatar.

* * *

"…and so I welcome you to the Fire Palace with open arms."

Zuko sat down after finishing his opening speech, with the representatives seated around the rectangular table applauding him.

"Wow, this looks delicious Zuko, I mean Fire Lord Zuko!" Aang exclaimed, eyeing the brightly colored dishes set out in front of them with relish.

"Thank you Avatar," he replied with a rare smile on his face. "These are all traditional Fire Nation meals made by the finest chefs gathered from all over the country. No expense was spared in providing you with authentic Fire Nation flavor. Please enjoy your meal." He gestured towards his guests, signaling to them that they could begin eating.

The young Avatar merrily grabbed a little bit from each dish, forming a hill of different vegetables and fruity soufflés on his plate.

The other representatives avidly tried out different appetizers as well, some with spicy cow hippo on their forks and others with bright red yam.

"This is amazing!" extolled one of the delegates from the Water Kingdom, sampling a peppercorn soup.

"I'm glad you all are enjoying the food," Zuko said, finally at ease when he judged the dinner to be going smoothly. "Each dish is spiced with signature Fire Nation herbs."

"Could I get a little more water?" asked one of the Earth Kingdom members, motioning a servant to come over and refill his cup. His face was slowly growing redder and he began to cough profusely. "I think—" he coughed, "—I may ha-ave ea-eaten–" really hacking now, "—too much o-of the fire flakes—" Steam started to smoke from his mouth, and he clutched his throat in pain before falling backwards onto the cushion. His water was knocked over, and when the cool liquid hit his skin, the group heard a sizzling sound.

"Ambassador Shu!" Zuko lept up and ordered several attendants to give the unconscious man a checkup.

"What just ha-appened?" said a female Water Tribesman. She too began coughing, and unable to firmly grasp her cup of water, spilled her savior all over her front, which trickled uselessly onto the floor.

"The ya-ya-yams!" All of the delegates besides Aang were soon sent into a frenzied state by the cumulative spiciness level of the Fire Nation cuisine. Some ran towards the servants with jugs of water like squawking arctic chickens and others floundered uselessly on the ground, their tongues frying from piquant flavors.

"Zuko, what should we do!" Aang called out.

But it was too late. Soon the entire dinner party lay dead-like on their cushions, their red sweaty faces betraying their motionless state. The servants could do nothing to help; even when splashed with water, it only evaporated into the air.

Zuko stared at the scene in horror. He bit his teeth together and swallowed the situation down. "Servants, bring these people to the infirmary. Tell the nurses to give them the highest priority. Tell them to use the best Fire Nation remedies!" But he stopped himself. "On second thought, tell them to use medicines appropriate for each one's nation."

As the servants picked up the bodies and carried them out, the Fire Lord couldn't help but bury his face in his hands. The dinner was a disaster. The Earth Kingdom would launch an invasion plan as soon as they got wind.

"Zuko, it's okay. You didn't know this was going to happen," reassured the Avatar, looking at his friend with confident eyes.

"Thanks Aang." Zuko took a couple of breaths and calmed himself down. "Actually, why aren't you in the body count right now?"

"Tastes buds from all Four Nations," he replied, grinning widely and showing off his Avatar tongue.

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Reviews are loved!


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